As a kid of emotionally unavailable parents…

I went on a harrowing healing journey that lasted decades. That is why I am incredibly passionate about helping people create nurturing relationships full of connection, attunement, and joy.

Many kids during the ’70s ’80s and ’90s had emotionally unavailable parents and are now left with the consequences. These can look like mind-blowingly busy lives with unfulfilling partnerships. Despite being married they feel utterly alone in their own worlds.

I’m Anna, the founder of the Relating Academy. This is my story.

At age 6 my family emigrated from Kyiv to Cape Town.

In these formative years, I witnessed my parents work tirelessly to survive. Fraudsters stole their money time and time again, and legal papers were denied over and over. My parents had it really hard.

By the time I was 10 years old, I had moved nearly 30 times, switched schools a bunch of times, and was fighting with my sister every day.

Our relationship was influenced by the one my parents had. Tumultuous - to put it mildly. All kids mirror their parents.

When I studied human behavior I learned that our voids drive our values. This means what we perceive is missing becomes what’s most important to us.

Moving around and having busy parents is how my biggest void and value was born - meaningful connections and healthy relationships. I’m dedicated to helping people relate better because I didn’t have the tools growing up and I made sure I got them. I studied human behavior for over 8 years in parallel with my traditional studies and business experience.

At age 18 I went to my first personal development seminar. I was hooked - a seminar junkie.

Up until then, my coping mechanisms were academia (being the best and brightest so that my parents would sit in rewards ceremonies, validating my achievements), and eventually alcohol. The dopamine reward I had been receiving for acing tests got replaced by the dopamine hits from shots of tequila and sips of wine. The compulsive behavior didn’t seem to slow me down until later in life. At first, I was firing on all cylinders.

At age 24 I started my first business in commercial real estate. Then an export business where my business partner and I exported wine and other goods to African countries. We had zero knowledge about this industry, learned on the fly, sold palettes to Ghana and Zimbabwe, and ran out of money. Little did I know just how expensive it is to run an international trade company.

Then I started the security guarding company. After signing the building I was living in, I signed a contract per month for 2 years with almost 100% retention.

Over 1000 guards later, at age 28, I was on the brink of burnout and exited the business. This is when I started consulting and landed on mindset coaching for entrepreneurs. Up until this point I had been doing all the personal development and human behavior things in the closet. I used the principles to aid my success, but I thought that my value was tied to closing deals. Finally, I could marry my passions - building business, quantum physics, and all things human potential.

For 7 years I helped entrepreneurs with their relationship with their business, with their purpose, and with money.

I also started going to plant medicine ceremonies, from Ayahuasca to Iboga, I was seeking the core element in coaching that would be most useful to people. This is where I received the message:

Better relating is the answer to a better life.

It starts with the relationship with Self and extends to all our relationships, including the one with our partner, parents, and all other humans in our orbit.

I had to face my relationship with myself and alcohol and finally understand the part of me that was numbing my pain.

After losing many of my closest friends in my twenties I now have the most supportive tribe I could imagine. My relationships with my parents and my sister are better than ever. In fact, I’m inspired by how my parents made it through their years of conflict and are still together, and really enjoy their companionship.

After studying at the Gottman Institute to learn the scientific approach to improving relationships, I founded the Relating Academy. I truly believe that when we learn to relate better we’ll have not only a safer society but a lot more fulfillment and success in every area of life - especially health and wealth. It’s all related.

I created The Ultimate Relating Guide: 5 Minutes to Improve ANY Relationship Even If It’s Been Strained for Years. I guarantee it works for any relationship you can think of, especially when you implement the steps. There are easy-to-follow practical applications for each step.